The Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong
by Tsuki no Ojo
Summary: Join us on a weird interview with some of Catland's own clan leaders! Continued, second season. NOTE FROM AUTHOR: Feels, good to be back, FF! *stretch*
1. Allegiances

_**The Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong**_

_**Allegiances **_

_CLI Staff_

_Author (writer and maker of CLI):_

Deltasong (aka me)-calico she-cat with blue eyes

_Co-author (co-writer and maker of CLI):_

Peachpaw (aka Peachy)-calico she-cat with green eyes

_Leaders (select leaders of former clans who have volunteered to join the show):_

Flamestar-ginger she-cat with amber eyes

Darkstar-black tom with green eyes

Bigstar-huge tabby tom with amber eyes

Pinkstar-all pink tom with, well, pink eyes

_Camera cats (cats in charge of any camera related things):_

Shelly-ginger she-cat with amber eyes

Tom-brown tom with amber eyes

McDonald-golden tom with amber eyes

_Sound cats (cats in charge of any sound related things):_

Mike-gray tom with green eyes

Jessica-ginger she-cat with green eyes

Angela-brown tabby she-cat with green eyes

_Guest cat caretakers (cats in charge of feeding, sheltering, and making sure guest cats are comfortable):_

Ella-white she-cat with amber eyes

Seth-black tom with green eyes

_Guards (cats in charge of making sure everyone and everything is safe):_

Shelby-ginger she-cat with green eyes

Aaron-gray tom with amber eyes


	2. Prologue

**First of all, I would like to say that I've not been able to post stories on here because I don't have the Internet. Before you freak out, thinking 'How in the world is she posting this story now?!?!' I will explain. I am using the library's computer. Therefore, I will not be able to add chapters as often, mostly because of school, but then there is that my boyfriend might want me to come over to his house, and I might just not be able to go sometimes. But I assure you, dear readers, that if I do not add for a while, I have a good reason.**

**Second, I am so happy to be adding chapters again. It feels terrific. If you were a former CLI fan, kudos to you, and I hope the new style of it will satisfy you. If this is your first time reading, I would like to tell you a bit about this story (Fans, you should listen up, too, because I don't know if you know this bit of information.) This story is based around a fictional land I like to call Catland. It is completely mine, though I threw in the Warriors bit, to spice it up. After all, what's Catland without Warriors, right? Don't fret, I'm going to put in the disclaimer, but keep in mind that Catland is mine, all mine. NO STEALING.**

**Disclaimer: I, Deltasong, formerly BellaCaitlin, hereby disown Warriors, though however much I may want to. **

**Claimer: I, Deltasong, formerly BellaCaitlin, own Catland, Deltasong, Peachpaw/storm, and all of the CLI crew, and everything else that has to do with Catland and its members.**

**So, before I bore your to death, and without further ado, I present to you, ladies and gentlecats, The Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong, Second Season!**

_**The Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong**_

_**Prologue**_

_The dream I had the night before was...weird...at the least. I was standing in a dark place, you know, the ones they always have a main character be in during a prophetic dream. Of course, as always, mist surrounded me. But the mist was...red. Then it changed to black. Then to pink. And then, all of a sudden, the mist grew. No, you don't have an eye problem. It _grew_. Like, I became surrounded by more of it. And then, the mist transformed into a paw the color of a peach. And that's when it hit me. _Peachpaw_...My old pal from that one random interview show that I hosted a couple moons back. Good times...Good times..._

I woke up with a start at the sound of a screaming alarm clock that rang out the Meow Mix theme. It was just on the second meow when I threw it against the wall. I did _not_ want to get up today.

Pouting, I fell out of bed and onto my wooden floor. I then pulled myself along the floor toward my closet, and somehow put on my Wendy's clothes whilst laying on the floor.

After I brushed my teeth with my fish flavored toothpaste, I climbed in my catmobile and revved up the engine

That's when I noticed something.

The air was too hot to be Friday. It was too sunny out, too cheerful. Quickly, I came to one conclusion: Today was Saturday.

Pulling out my cat phone, I flipped it open and in big, bold letters, it read 'Saturday, June 8, 2009, 12:00pm'

"Shoot." I whispered. Today _was _Saturday, in the middle of the summer, during lunch.

I walked back inside my apartment and fell onto my bed.

Two hours later, I woke up at the sound of a ringing cat phone. I fumbled around for a moment before flipping open the phone. "Huh?" I mumbled.

"Is this Ms. Deltasong?" said a mysterious voice on the other end.

"Uh huh." My voice gave away my state.

"Hello, Ms. Deltasong. I'm sorry if I disturbed you. But I really need to talk to you in person. Please meet me at 918 West Catland Street, Catnapolis. Is that okay?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure."

The voice didn't respond right away. "Thank you for your time, Ms. Deltasong. I look forward to seeing you."

Finally, after making my way through a maze, I reached the said address. Parking my catmobile on the curb, I got out and walked up to the door, ringing the doorbell.

Suddenly, the door opened wide, and Peachpaw looked me straight in the eye. "Come in." she growled, pulling me in.

"Peachpaw?!" I cried. Her green eyes were flaming red hot. "The fox dung is going on here?!"

My old friend threw me against a couch. "Who the heck do you think you are?!"

I smirked. "Um...Deltasong?"

Peachpaw threw a punch at me, but I dodged quickly. "Forgetting me for about five moons, huh?! What a way to thank me for coming on your stupid show with you! I tried going to your house, but the old lady who moved in said she hadn't heard of you! I kept going back to the HQ to see if you'd return, but no!" she screamed, throwing another punch at me, missing.

"Hey, take it easy, Peach!"

She stopped trying to hit me, but the snarl didn't leave her face. "And, for your information, the leaders had nowhere to go, because their clans had separated."

I looked down.

"And so they came to my house, and asked if we could start the show again."

I still looked down.

"Well?"

"Well? Huh, why should I?"

Peachpaw sighed. "Because! For me, for the CLI staff who lost their jobs, for the leaders, and even for yourself!"

"For myself?" I questioned with a frown on my face.

She smiled wickedly. "Wendy's, am I correct?"

I stood up. "So you guys really want my to start it back up?"

Peachpaw nodded.

"Fine. Can I leave?" Peachpaw nodded. "Thanks. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. We'll get everyone back tomorrow."

The next day, and I was stuck at the HQ, for the second time that year. Almost everyone was here, the camera cats, sound cats, guards, guest caretaker cats, even a new camera cat named McDonald was here.

"Oh, gosh, it's good to be back." said Pinkstar.


	3. Chapter 1

_**The Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong**_

_**Chapter One**_

"Lights, cameras, action!"

I shuffled my papers. "Welcome to The Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong! We are so happy," I quickly gave a murderous glance at Peachpaw. "to announce that we are up and running once again! Only, this time, we are new and improved! Before we start, I would like to introduce everyone, since we have some new cats." I shuffled my papers once more, and looked at the page in front of me. "As you all know, my name is Deltasong, and I'm the author. Our co-author is Peachpaw, and our leaders are Flamestar, Darkstar, Bigstar, and Pinkstar." Off screen, Pinkstar was dressed in a pink suit that resembled the Pink Panther. "Our camera cats are Shelly, Tom, and McDonald. For our sound cats, we have Mike, Jessica, and Angela. For our guest caretaker cats, we have Ella and Seth. For our guards, we have Shelby and Aaron. And," I looked at my papers. "that concludes our introductions. My apprentice Peachpaw would like to start."

Peachpaw scowled at me for a fraction of a second. "Of course. Remember, leaders, this is free discussion, but we will stop if we have to, so behave." She turned to another page, and read the first question. "So, what is it like being a clan leader? We'll start with Flamestar."

Flamestar gulped. "Um, well, it feels just like being a regular cat. But it also gives you a sense of power like no other." Satisfied with her answer, Flamestar looked at Darkstar.

Darkstar shrugged. "It's like being president of the U.S.A, or czar of Russia, only a lot smaller."

Bigstar hesitated. "What they said."

Pinkstar, being him, took less than a second to figure out what he was going to say. Of course, "Well, it's like being surrounded with pink! You feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and you know that everyone looks up to you, for guidance and friendship. Being a clan leader is wonderful, because you create stronger bonds within the clan."

Peachpaw nodded. "Deltasong?"

I looked at my papers. "What would you do if someone in your clan defied your orders, and did what they wanted, when they wanted, and turned everyone against you?"

Flamestar sighed. "I would banish that cat from my clan."

Darkstar shrugged, again. "Blow them up with a nuclear missile." A devilish grin appeared on his face. Everyone shifted away from him.

Bigstar said, "I would do what any sensible," He glanced at Darkstar, who was still smiling. "leader would do: Divide and conquer. I would follow that cat out into the forest, and attack."

Pinkstar frowned. "Oh, don't be silly! That would never happen!! Not to me, anyways. Because I like to create strong bonds with everyone, so that way no one will turn against me."

I rolled my eyes. Peachpaw was already on it. "But what if that _did_ happen, Pinkstar? Pretend that there's a new cat in the clan, not forest born. If he defies your orders?"

Pinkstar froze. He didn't move for several moments.

"Pinkstar?" cautioned Flamestar.

"Not...clan...born?" Pinkstar whimpered.

Everyone half expected him to start bawling like a little school girl. Instead, a scowl covered his face.

"NOT CLAN BORN?!?!?!?!?!" Pinkstar was now red, his blood boiling. "NOT CLAN BORN?!?!?!?!" Veins stuck out all over his body. "I HATE NOT CLAN BORN CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the leader screamed. His voice was shrill.

"Calm down!" cried Bigstar.

It happened all too quick. In one second, the whole room was splattered with pink. Pinkstar was standing on his hind legs, now 17 feet tall. His fur was a sickly green, and he was wearing purple shorts. His eyes, which were pink before, were now black. "ME CRUSH NOT BORN CLAN CATS!" he yelled in a deep voice. "ME HULKSTAR!!!"

"Duck and cover!" shouted someone. "Run!"

I took that cat's advice, and fled the scene. I stumbled to the back of the room, where the camera cats were laughing and filming what they called 'Pinkstar's Big Meltdown.'

Meanwhile, Peachpaw had grabbed a random fake sword, and shield, and was trying to fight Pinkstar. "Take that!" she cried in her British accent. "Want some more, Pinky?!" The calico jabbed the fake sword at Pinkstar.

"Go, Peachpaw!" I cheered her.

After what seemed like an hour, some smart cat called animal control, and Pinkstar was sedated with ten tranquilizers, then dragged off to the vets for some scientific experiments. The camera cats had gotten the whole ordeal, and were planning to sell it on eBay. They titled it, 'CLI Secret File Second Season #1: Pinkstar's Big Meltdown."

I sighed, and went back to my overturned desk. "Are we still rolling?" I asked quietly. The camera people nodded. I sighed again, and said, "And that concludes today's Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong. Join us next time." Suddenly, I passed out on the desk.


	4. Chapter 2

_**The Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong**_

_**Chapter Two**_

I had passed out on my desk. It was weird; I'd never passed out before. But I'd seen it on TV. Usually, the person doing the passing out wakes up in a different spot. It's ironic, really, that I woke up in the same spot, with terrified shouts calling my name. "Deltasong!"

"Wha?" I answered. Peachpaw was standing at my side, her calico fur bristling.

"Thank Heavens. You gave us a nasty fright!" she yelled.

I frowned. "I can hear you, you know. You don't have to shout." I growled at her. My apprentice shrugged.

"Sorry. Now, get to the bathroom and get dressed. The show is going to start soon."

Grabbing my purse, I ran to the bathroom, and started licking my fur. When it was smooth and straight, I sighed and ran back to the main room, where everyone was already in their places. I dived into my seat, grabbed my papers, and smiled like I was having a good day.

"Lights, camera, action!"

Sighing at the last second, I started reading my lines. "Welcome to The Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong. I'm your host, Deltasong. Today, we will be having a guest star, since one of our clan leaders is currently unavailable. Let's give a big, hearty, Catland welcome to notorious clan leader Firestar!"

Jessica, one of our sound cats, flipped the 'Applause' switch, and the sound of twenty paws clapping filled the studio. Quickly turning it off, Jessica motioned for her brother, Seth, who was a guest cat caretaker, to lead Firestar into the room. He did so, and we all clapped as the ThunderClan leader walked in.

He sat down, and I cleared my throat, preparing for a long and random day. "So, tell me, Firestar, what is it like having a lot of enemies, some of them from your own clan?"

Firestar's eyes gleamed. "It's like being stalked. I constantly have to look over my shoulder. And," The leader looked over at the other clan leaders, who were waiting patiently. "I have to have round the clock bodyguards. That's why I have Sandstorm sleep in my den with me sometimes. And also why I told Leafpool to fake a dream from StarClan, so that Brambleclaw would be closer to me than any cat, besides my family."

Darkstar's ears perked up. Mine did, too, but for a whole different reason. "You mean to tell me that you told your medicine cat, who is also your daughter, to fake a dream from StarClan? Isn't that considered fraud? I mean, that'll get you a one-way ticket to the dark forest, right?"

Firestar shook his head. "My dear, it's all in the location. Secretly, just before we left the mountains, I went on a walk with Leafpool. It was then that I told her to fake the dream, but only after we got to our new home, by the lake. She was about to tell about the faked dream, but I told her to wait a while, so suspicion wouldn't be floating around. I was proud of her for waiting after the badger attack. The point is, if you're not within clan territory, StarClan doesn't know about it."

I rolled my eyes. "So basically you deceived StarClan, just so you won't die? I thought you had six lives left."

"Use the one brain cell you have, cat. With as much enemies as I have, I would lose all of them within a single sunrise if I had to face them all. Would you like me to go down the list of my enemies?"

I shook my head. "Thanks anyway. Okay, that aside, I would like to interview the other clan leaders. Flamestar, Darkstar, and Bigstar."

The other three waved at the camera, all except Darkstar. He just pouted.

"Okay." I started. "Flamestar, we haven't really heard from you. I've noticed from last season's tapes that you're really the only one who can control the other three. Why is that?"

Flamestar smiled. "I guess it's because I'm a clan leader. Leaders get more power and respect, and being a she-cat...Well, it seems like that just adds on more power."

"Darkstar." I said, turning toward him. "We all know that you, unlike most here," A sideways glance at a group of young cats wearing dark colors. "are goth. What we want to know is why. Why are you like this? Is it because of some childhood fear, that keeps growing as you get older?"

Suddenly, without a warning, Darkstar lunged at me. "I'll tell you why!" snarled. "It's because of this idiotic show! It's because you idiots exist!" The black tom hissed and ripped through my ear.

I screamed. Not because of the pain, no. Because the fact that I was being attacked by a goth/emo cat named Darkstar!

"Hey!" someone off camera shouted. I couldn't see who, because my eyes were closed. "Darkstar! Chew on this!"

And then he fell. Backwards. I opened a single eyes, and saw that a tranquilizer was in Darkstar's arm. I suddenly realized who had shot it, though. The voice had sounded familiar, sounded...British...Peachpaw!

"Peachpaw! Thanks!" I yelled. "I owe you."

Peachpaw smiled. "No problem. We'll talk about debts later. For now, we need to get this guy home."

Darkstar, who lay limp on the floor, lived in the farthest reaches of the north in Catland. "Let's just board him up on a plane and go home." I groaned.

After a long and tiresome day, I was finally back home. It felt good to sink underneath the soft, cream colored blankets.

But I couldn't sleep with the thought of another day coming.


	5. Chapter 3

_**The Clan Leader's Interview that Went So Wrong**_

_**Chapter 3**_

"Get over here quick! You're not going to believe this!" Peachpaw's distressed voice drove me to hurry.

I got in my catmobile and took off. The five minute drive to the studio got me wondering what could possibly be wrong. But then again, _any_thing could be wrong when it involves CLI.

As I pulled into the staff parking lot, I immediately saw what was wrong. At least fifty she-cats were gathered around the main entrance. It could only mean one thing.

"Peachpaw!" I shouted over the roar of a thousand she-cats.

"Deltasong! Thank StarClan you're here! Follow me! We need to take care of the problem!" I followed the sound of Peachpaw's voice, and ended up by the east wall. Peachpaw was huddled by the side entrance. "Come on." she whispered.

We walked inside, and McDonald, one of our camera cats, pointed his paw toward the main room. We walked to the small window on the door, and my theory was correct; Crowfeather from WindClan was seated in one of the chairs.

"Peachpaw." I began. "Stay here. I'll take care of this."

Peachpaw shook her head. "No. Were in this together." I took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

At first, Crowfeather didn't see us. His agent was talking to him. But his agent stopped talking, and looked at us. Crowfeather turned his to to us. "Um, can we help you?" I asked.

"As a matter of fact, you can." The Irish accent flowed smooth and strong.

"Really? How?" I snorted.

The agent started toward me, but Crowfeather stopped him with his paw. "You see, recently, all of my fan girls have been switching over to Brambleclaw. So, I need more publicity, more of me on television shows. That's where you come in."

I crossed my arms. "And what do _we_," I looked at Peachpaw. "get out of it?"

Crowfeather shrugged. "Fame, money...More fans." he said lazily. His perked up suddenly. "And six tickets to Six Tails."

My eyes widened. "For...Me, Peachpaw, and the clan leaders?"

The black tom superstar nodded.

"Welcome to CLI."

"Lights, cameras, action!"

I don't know why I did it. Something told me that Crowfeather was meant to be on this show. Instincts, maybe? I don't know. But working with the leaders has taught me to trust my gut.

"Welcome to The Clan Leader's Interview. I'm your host, Deltasong. Today we've got a real treat for all of you. Let's give a big, hearty, Catland welcome to famous WindClan warrior, Crowfeather!"

One of our sound cats, I don't know who, sounded the 'Giant Applaud with Whistles and Shouts of Joy' button. As soon as the applause was over, I plunged into a sea of uncertainty.

"So, tell me, what is it like being famous, and not even a clan leader?"

The other two cats, (Darkstar and Pinkstar still weren't back), gave me mutinous glares.

Crowfeather chuckled. "It's just _like _being a leader! Only difference is is that you don't get to be up on the Great Tree at gatherings, and you're not as close to StarClan. But, as any famous clan cat would know, it's perfect that way. Being a leader, you have more rules, and StarClan basically follows you around everywhere. But me...Well, I get more freedom."

My eyes widened. "But that's treason!"

Crowfeather shrugged. "So? Treason is cool."

I shook my head. "This is free speech." I said, half to myself.

"That's right." The black tom agreed.

"Moving on. So, we are all dying to know something."

Crowfeather winked. "Anything."

"Tell us about this whole Nightcloud business."

The tom stiffened. "What about her?"

"Well...Why her? Why not someone else?" I pressed.

Crowfeather laughed halfheartedly. "Um...Well, I guess because...I'm closer to her than any other cat..."

"Ooh. What do you mean?" My eyes were wide.

Crowfeather hesitated. "Well...Um...She's...she's my...sister."

I jumped up, my heart racing with excitement. "You're sister?! That's unbelievable!"

"It's true."

I could see the subject was making him uncomfortable. Normally, I would have pressed on, but not with my Six Tails tickets at stake.

"Oh. Well, anyways. I think it's time for us to move on to the clan leaders."

He relaxed a bit, and stood up.

"When we come back, we'll talk with the clan leaders."

"Cut!" cried Shelly, on of the camera cats.

Crowfeather walked off set and Peachpaw and I followed. "Sorry about that." I said.

The tom shrugged like always. "Doesn't matter. What was your name again?" he pointed at Peachpaw.

"Peachpaw. It's been a pleasure." My apprentice stuck her paw out.

Crowfeather took it politely and shook it. "I best be off."

"The tickets?" I asked.

The tom nodded. "Here." He dug his hand in his pocket and took out the six tickets.

"Thanks." Peachpaw said as he handed them to her.

Crowfeather turned around, with his agent on his heels, and left.

"Thank goodness." I said. "Now we can relax..."

"Lights, cameras, action!"

With Crowfeather gone, and the tickets safely in my pocket, I could afford a little reluctance.

"Welcome back to The Clan Leader's Interview! I'm your host, Deltasong. If you missed the short interview with Crowfeather from WindClan, make sure you visit our homepage at .cat! For now, we are, as usual, going to interview our clan leaders."

I turned to the two leaders left, Flamestar and Bigstar. "How do you feel about the other two leaders gone?" I asked.

Flamestar smiled. "It's like being in StarClan. Without Darkstar or Pinkstar, this day can surely be ordinary."

Bigstar nodded. "I agree. We're about the only two, sane clan leaders left."

Nodding slowly, I asked another question. "You know, I've always heard that a crazy cat makes another one look sane. Is that true?"

Bigstar shook his head. "No. They don't make us look sane. We _are _sane."

"I see. Well, I guess you guys might just be right." Only a little bit of me believed that. "But you never know, Darkstar could walk in right now looking like the Grim Reaper."

Suddenly, without warning, the double doors on the edge of the set burst open, and a shadowy figure walked in. The figure wore a long and tattered cloak, and it was holding a...a dozen roses?

The figure walked up to Flamestar, and held out the roses. "Here." it said. Flamestar took the flowers, shaking, and the figure walked out of the building.

"Okay, that's all the time we have, before that...thing...comes back. I hear that Pinkstar is making a fast recovery, and all the experiments are finished, so he should be coming back soon. Join us next time for another glimpse of how crazy it is here! Bye!" As I finished my sentence, the closing theme song started.

Afterward the camera cats yelled cut, I walked to my car, said bye to Peachpaw, and drove home.


End file.
